What I need in a man.

Dear men,

You need to have a relationship with God. Let me rephrase and say that you need to have your own relationship with God. Do not conform what you believe into what you think I need from a man. That is a lie and very deceitful. The truth will come out. I need a man to be the spiritual leader of my future household. If you just read that sentence and thought that by doing that you might seem less manly, that if you raise your hand in church, somehow you are less of a man, well then you need to hit your knees and learn how to be humble before the God that created you. If you aren't willing to do that I am not willing to let you into my free time.

I sin. Its my nature. Its yours as well. As a Christian we are to date someone that is "equally yolked" (Look it up). The reason for this is because if we both have a sinful nature and neither of us have a relationship with God than all we do is continue to fall into a life of sin. (You may not even notice that your doing it because usually sin is really fun.) I don't need a man that will influence me to do the wrong things. I need a man that will help me overcome some of my own personal internal struggles and become a better woman and Christian. We are not meant to be alone nor are we meant to be matched for life with unequal values.

I'm asking all the men to man up. This isn't one sided either. I'd like to ask women to do the same. The fact that we are single doesn't mean we need to live the life society shows us until that other person finally arrives in our life. If we don't try to make ourselves better now, we may never get the chance. In 2016, my next resolution is to wrestle with my demons, conquer fears, and refuse to lower my standards and settle for a life less than what God has planned for me. I've spent to much time worrying about and reliving the past. It's time to move on.

That being said, when two Christians date it is easier to discuss big issues and determine where you are both moving in the relationship. There is more respect for each other because you are trying to help the other person instead of just take from them to make yourself happy.

Sincerely,
A sinful Christian woman that struggles with life and dating

-Kayla

Why Being Mom Isn't Enough

   Recently I learned a hard lesson, and I don't know about you, but it seems that God uses experiences as the best way to open my eyes and teach me things. After a 50ish hour work week I came home one night exhausted, stressed, worried, clueless, etc. My daughter was about to turn four years old yet I felt like a new mom on the day she brings home her first newborn... "Now what?". I would get on Facebook (darn you social media) and see moms driving their kids hours to get a picture with Santa in a brand new $75 Christmas outfit. I would see crafts that other moms had spent hours with their kids making. I would see pictures of moms posting large overly expensive gifts they had gotten for their children. There I was coming home from work after a twelve hour day, and it's all I could do to get my daughter bathed and fed and in bed all while listening and asking about her day. And I thought, "now what? What else can I do tonight to show her I love her?"

   Needless to say, I started questioning everything I was doing as a mother. I haven't taken her for Santa pictures this year, am I bad mom? I haven't bought her a brand new red and green outfit, do I really even care about her? We didn't make the first homemade ornament this year, am I using my time with her wisely? Does she even know how much I love her without those things?

   Now I am by no means condemning these mothers. In fact, I'm APPLAUDING you. Really. But it was in this moment God brought a verse to my head that brought so much comfort: "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast." Eph 2:8-9

   If God can accept my heart and love for Him in a way other than works and doings, how much more could my own daughter accept my love without the works? 

In the new year I hope and plan to make more time for crafts, Santa pictures, and fun trips to the zoo. However, whether you're a single mother or not, loving your children unconditionally is enough some days without the bells and whistles. Working a full time job, providing food on the table, listening to them talk about their day, loving on them, having patience, and most importantly teaching them about Jesus is enough. You are enough. Social media is not the handbook to parenting, and we should stop looking to it for advice and to compare ourselves. So, here's to squeezing in a quick bath and singing "You Are My Sunshine" before bed and calling it a day, a good day, cute pajamas or not.

-The Not So Perfect Mom, Caroline

2016 Reading List

My first goal was to read a book a week, every week in the year of 2016. I still intend to read 52 books next year, but not necessarily one a week. I am laying out a plan for four books a month (1-48) and then four books to squeeze in (49-52) wherever I want to read extra. If I read them all in one or two weeks of the month I may take the other weeks off. (Not that this is a job, I love to read and am truly looking forward to this). This list may change according to recommendations and swap outs. If I don't like a book by the fifth chapter I will not finish it. Life is too short to read books you don't enjoy. So keep in mind some of these might be swapped out if someone highly recommends a new book or if I don't like the one I am reading. I will be doing a book review every week as well. I will be letting you know where I am in the process, what book I'm on, and my thoughts.

Comment below and share some of your favorite books with me!

Keep in mind that changes may be due to the fact that I rent most of my books from the library in my city using their online library. Books are placed on hold depending on how many people before you have requested it. Each person keeps the book a limited amount of days. I would love to be able to read season appropriate book during certain months, but that just may not be a possibility in some cases.

JANUARY

1.      Let it Snow- John Green, etc.

2.      As I Lay Dying-William Faulkner 

3.      The Dirt on Ninth Grave- Darynda Jones

4.      You- Caroline Kepnes

FEBRUARY

5.      Since You've Been Gone- Morgan Matson

6.      Dark Places- Gillian Flynn

7.      Consequences- Aleatha Romig

8.      All the Light We Can Not See- Anthony Doerr

MARCH
9.      Graduates in Wonderland- Jessica Pan

10.    The Mountain Story- Lori Lansens

11.    Girl Before a Mirror- Liz Palmer

12.    Anthem- Ayn Rand

APRIL

13.    In the Heart of the Sea- Nathaniel Philbrick

14.    From the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy

15.    Black Mass- Dick & Gerald Lehr

16.    You Shall Know Our Velocity- Dave Eggers

MAY
17.    Dash & Lily's Book of Dares- Rachel Conn & David Levithan
18.    See Jane Run- Joy Fielding

19.    Where'd you go Bernadette- Maria Semple

20.    The Husband's Secret- Liane Moriarty

JUNE
21.    Sin & Bone- Bette Golden & JJ Lamb

22.    The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini

23.    The Maze Runner- James Dashner

24.    Where She Went- Gayle Forman

JULY

25.    A Prayer for Owen Meany- John Irving

26.    Let's Pretend this Never Happened- Jenny Lawson

27.    Broken Harbor- Tana French

28.    The Light Between Oceans- M.L. Stedman

AUGUST

29.    The Opposite of Loneliness- Marina Keegan

30.    Me Before You- Jojo Moyes

31.    The Liar- Nora Roberts

32.    Breakfast at Tiffany's- Truman Capote

SEPTEMBER
33.    The Martian- Andy Weir
34.    The Lincoln Lawyer- Michael Connelly
35.    Pretty Girls- Karen Slaughter

36.    See Me- Nicholas Sparks

OCTOBER
37.    The Hollow- Jessica Verday

38.    Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children- Ransom Riggs

39.    The Selection- Kiera Cass

40.    Love Letters to the Dead- Ava Dellaira

NOVEMBER

41.    Of Mice & Men- John Steinbeck

42.    Let them Eat Cake- Sandra Byrd

43.    Eleanor & Park- Rainbow Rowell

44.    Silver Linings- Debbie Macomber

DECEMBER
45.    Let it Snow- John Green

46.    Maybe this Christmas- Sarah Morgan

47.    The Gun Slinger- Stephen King

48.    Forever & Always Collection- E.L. Todd

These four I will fit in wherever I am caught up on the others.

49.    Go Set a Watchman- Harper Lee

50.    I'll Give You the Sun- Jady Nelson

51.    The Library at Mount Char- Scott Hawkins

52.    November 9- Colleen Hoover

-Kayla

Christmas Edition: Gifts under $25 for women

If you're like me then you have several friends that you would like to buy something special for without breaking the bank. I'm going to share with you my under $25 gift guide and hope you get inspired. (Men, this could be really beneficial for you as well)

1. Anthropologie

www.anthropologie.com

This website has some unique gifts that I have never seen before, but absolutely love. Two of my favorites in their gift section are without a doubt these coffee mugs and the gingerbread mug toppers. What an adorable way to serve someone a hot drink at a get together and let them keep it, or just to feel festive when you cozy up at home and watch it snow. These may be the most adorable things ever.

2. Forever 21

www.forever21.com

This site is an amazing place to find gifts for us lady folk. This is where I go for original gifts, lounge wear, and tall socks for winter. Everything is cheap, and in my experience, all is good quality for the money. From jewelry to make up to fashion this site has it all. $20 goes a long way here.

The first two places are wonderful, but for those that don't feel like ordering online here are some different tips.

1. A gift card for a massage or mani/pedi

2. A girt card to somewhere they love to shop but rarely splurge on themselves

3. Candles and books (of course I would say that) but get creative and write a note in the front of the book. Someone recently did this for me and I LOVED it.

I hope this helps. If all else fails remember, everyone loves to eat! A good meal is hard to beat.

-Kayla

The Mary Kay Way

Recently I attended a Mary Kay meeting with Kelly Sullivan where I was introduced to the world of skincare and makeup that didn't come from Wal-Mart. To say it was overwhelming is an understatement. There is so little I know about the world of beauty. I wash my face with a bar of soap for crying out loud. *I know some women will cringe when they read that.* Please forgive me, I'm learning. The meeting is held every Monday night at Charity's Bakery (6:00- 7:30 pm) near the depot in our own home town of Cookeville. These women are incredible, and the products are amazing. I left there feeling more beautiful than I have in a very long time. These women were encouraging, hilarious, open, kind, and supportive. You definitely need to contact them or stop by for a free makeover one Monday night. After the meeting I asked Nikki if she would be interested in sharing her top five tricks of the trade to help all of us tomboys that struggle with the world of beauty.

-Kayla

This is Kelly Sullivan. A full time employee, Mary Kay Cosmetics Director on the side, a mom of two, a wife, and a friend to everyone. Not to mention she is gorgeous. Who wouldn't want her to help you on the road to beauty and success. Find her at https://www.facebook.com/kelly.b.sullivan.33

This is Nikki Klein. Of course she is breath taking as well. These women are beautiful on the inside and out. Nikki graciously volunteered to give us a few tips she has learned working under Kelly as a Mary Kay Consultant. you can find Nikki at https://www.facebook.com/Miss.Klein or reach her via email at nikkiklein04@gmail.com

Growing up my mother never wore makeup. The only thing she ever used on occasion was lipstick and mascara. That's it. So naturally as I got older, and started to want to impress the guys at school, I wanted to start wearing makeup. I wanted to look more grown up and to build my confidence but I was clueless as to what to wear or how to even put it on! A teenage girls nightmare! 

Now in my late 20's I have learned lots of do's and don'ts and I am going to share what I consider to be the most important tips to know about makeup.

1- Skin Care

Taking care of your skin is the most important thing ever! I highly recommend a good 3-1 cleanser and moisturizer for both day and night. Make sure your day moisturizer has at least SPF 30. You only have one face and as you get older those fine lines start to show up and suddenly looking older isn't so much fun. It never hurts to start using age-fighting skin care products. You'll thank yourself when you hit 40. 

2- Face Primer 

Face primer is very important. When you hear the word primer, you might think primer like for walls? You wouldn't paint walls without painting the primer coat first and the same goes for your face. Back to skin care, having a really good face primer helps protect your skin by minimizing your pores, help control oily skin, and places a barrier between your foundation and skin. Using a face primer helps even out your skin and gives your foundation a more flawless look.

3- Foundation

Whether you choose liquid or mineral powder the most important thing to remember is what's best for your skin type. If you are oily, you'll want oil free makeup or if you breakout easily a mineral powder may be best for you. Do your homework because as I said before skin care is the most important part. Next is color choice. You want to choose a color closest to your natural color or just a tad bit lighter. The best way to find your natural color is on your jawline. That's right your jawline instead of the back of your hand because your neck is lighter than your face and you'll want your foundation to look natural. Also make sure you are in natural lighting or a well lit area.

4- Bronzer and Blush

When using a bronzer a little goes a long way. A bronzer is to give color and define your features on your face. Apply bronzer to your neck, hairline, and underneath your cheek bone. When looking at your face, if you take your bronzer and start at your hairline, then to under your cheekbone, to below your jawline and down your neck you make the number 3. As for blush you'll want to smile and start at the apples(the round part of your cheeks) and brush back towards your hairline. Again less is more. 

5- Eyeshadow, Eyeliner, Mascara 

Eyeshadow can be tricky, takes practice and you'll need a good set of brushes. Never put foundation or concealer on your eye lids. It will cause your eyeshadow to crease. There are eyeshadow primers out there. When doing eyeshadow you'll want to start with your eye lid, then the crease, then to the eyebrow. The key to making eyeshadow look good is to blend the colors. 

Eyeliner is optional and can be worn many different ways. It really depends on what kind of look you're going for. I prefer gel eyeliner but to each their own. I also prefer a softer top line and a bolder bottom line. Depending on your eye shape you may not need eyeliner at all or will want to use a different color such as brown. 

Mascara should be applied from the root of the lash and do a zig zag motion as you go up. 

I really hope these help because the good Lord knows it took me many years of trial and error to get it right haha!

-Nikki

I don't apologize for being myself.

I'm a 26 year old single white female. I love to read. I'd rather stay home and read a book on the weekends than go out to some event or get together. The older I get the more I understand how messed up the human race is and the less people I like. I use to have a million friends, and now I strictly observe people before allowing them into my comfort zone. I am painfully aware that some people want you around for entertainment or just so they don't have to do something alone, but they don't truly care about you. There are people that you will go out of your way for that will never lift a finger to help or encourage you. Please leave those people behind as soon as possible. You may think that you are being kind by staying around them, but eventually that attitude will rub off on you. BEWARE. Losing friends is a good thing sometimes. I guess that's called getting old. Speaking of getting old, I try to be asleep by 9:00p.m. on weeknights. On the weekend when I try to stay up late, I'm usually still asleep by midnight. (Unless the book is really good). Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy going out with my friends for dinners and hanging out, but the older I get the more I pay attention to my surroundings and the situations I am putting myself in.


I have addictions, but they aren't terrible for me. I could quit anytime I want to. I just don't want to haha. Lets start with candles. My heavens Bath & Body works has me hooked. If you come over to my house you can guarantee that a candle will be burning, and it will be cozy. There will also most likely be a pot of coffee on, or I will offer you a cup of hot tea. I don't really buy coke or pepsi unless I have guests coming over. I prefer to get my caffeine from hot beverages, especially this time of the year.


I love to eat. I'm a total foodie. I usually have pizza at least one day a week at work. That means my coworkers do as well. (At least I share). And wouldn't you know it, the more pizza you eat the more coupons they send you. It's a never ending cycle. I work out.....just enough to keep from being 500lbs with my love of food. By work out I mean that I run up and down the stairs in my house, do squats while drying my hair, or sit-ups while playing with my dog. I use to be a fitness addict, but as it turns out, I love my body more with a softer tone. I am 100% comfortable with myself. I still have flaws and wish that I could change things about my appearance as all women do, but I have learned to love myself and my body. I do love being outside, but I hate being cold so as it gets colder I start reading more and watching HGTV to find fun things I could do with my house while I'm stuck inside. I also have a huge love for animals. My dog in particular. He's the best friend I've ever had. We know each other's schedules, and his emotions follow mine. Yes, I think dogs have emotions. When I'm excited and active, he's ready to play. When I'm sleepy, he's ready to snuggle. When I'm mellow, he's there to rest his head on my lap. When I'm traveling, he's in the car before I am. He is my right hand man and love.


I don't intend to be in a relationship for a while. I got burned in the dating game pretty bad, and I feel that you need to take time for yourself in order to fully move on. When I'm ready I'll know, but right now I'm not. I don't feel the need to have someone else validate my self worth, and to be honest I am really enjoying doing what I choose to do without having to compromise my schedule with a significant other. I love love. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, but I believe that love has to happen in the right timing or it won't last. I've also learned that God's timing is much better than mine. I also believe that my relationship with God needs to grow before I develop a romantic relationship.

That's a little about me, and I don't apologize for being myself. I don't care if people like my way of life or if it offends anybody. I am who I am, and you know what they say.... You can be the ripest, most juicy peach in the world, but still somebody won't like peaches.

-Kayla

God Bless Our Veterans

I was recently asked to do a write up about Veterans Day. This was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to write because it is truly hard to express the level of gratitude I have for these men and women. My grandfather and Caroline's brother know the meaning of service. This is to all of those who have served, are serving, or may serve our country in the future.

To those that put the safety of our country before their own, thank you.

To those that selflessly put their lives and dreams on hold so that civilians may sleep peacefully at night, thank you.

To those young and old, brave and bold. We rejoice in the lives that return home, and we respectfully mourn those that don't.

When we see the flag red, white, and blue may we always think of you.

We are so proud to be Americans. May we never forget that you are the reason we live in this great country. May we never forget to appreciate you as the heroes you are, and may we never forget to thank God for our Veterans. 

And though we may not know each name,

We would like to thank all veterans just the same.